Tuesday, 16 March 2010



It is without doubt that the world is a better place for having Lady Gaga in it than it would be without her.  Within her little minx exterior appears to be a truly troubled space cadet, partially playing the game and partially thinking that it is all real.

Of course the fact that I even know more than five Lady Gaga songs is truly wrong and borderline weird.  This is not my music; I should not be coming or going here/there.  Everything about her is phoney.  She’s a fraud.  Its not about the music, it’s about the costumes, the persona, the act.  It’s theatre, its pop music, not high art.

“Telephone” is the big Lady Gaga song with the Beyonce guest appearance.  Beyonce is a better singer than Lady Gaga.  She is also sexier, produces better songs, is probably younger and is definitely female.  When she drops into the track she also drops a huge dollop of class onto proceedings that helps us turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the weird effects the studio have inserted into the piece with all the subtly of a sledgehammer.

It feels stupid to pretend that I am reviewing this song from the picture disc seven inch.  Who the hell am I kidding?  It is from the music video set in a prison that was launched with much hype and even more disappointment.  Within it there are lesbian overtones and a non to Kill Bill but beyond that not quite enough to paper over the cracks.  Still, people lap this up as art and who am I to belittle other people’s tastes.  Lady Gaga is just a force of nature you can only embrace and hope she does not ruin too many brain cells in the process.  Regardless of the weirdness and dress up this is not up there with Madonna in her prime.

Why I bought this record I do not know.  This is not my era and this is not my chosen style of music to listen to.  Occasionally you can masturbate to her pop videos, just not this one.

Thesaurus moment: ersatz.

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