Friday, 20 November 2009



When Katy Perry first released “I Kiss A Girl” I used to sit opposite a lesbian at work and whenever the song would arrive on the radio with its charged intention I couldn’t help but snigger at the posturing of a silly little girl acting up as I would look straight at Claire wondering just what was going on inside her mind at the time. Was this the song that permanently resonated within her mind? Is this really the girl nation soundtrack?

Displaying the best and worst that Essex has to offer Kunt And The Gang return with a special four song tour single to accompany his riotously offensive live show that never fails to cross several boundaries of good taste.

It will probably come as no surprise to discover the “I Sucked Off A Bloke” is an homage to Katy Perry’s “I Kiss A Girl” faux homosexually tomfoolery. The rhythm and stroke of the original tune remains in his voice as the music that accompanies it resembles something of a cross between John Shuttleworth and Wesley Willis gone x-rated.

“She’s bound to take it out of context.”

This is the kind of music would suspect a person might get arrested for. As during the second song “My Nob Is Bigger Than Your Nob” Kunt compares his knob to looking like “Justin Lee Collins eating a sausage”. Later Kunt also accuses Little Kunt of a knob so cheesy it could be bait in a mousetrap. If by this point you are still listening your threshold is fine, strong even and generally in life you will definitely do all right.

Additional delights arrive in the form of “That’s My Erection” and his “Michael Jackson Tribute” both of which generally serve to make a person feel like a better person of tuning in.

In such politically correct times these songs serve as a refreshing beacon of freedom, where people can make their own choices and decide for themselves if they do not want to pander to the rules of behaviour (accepted social conventions) that television so cunningly subversively enforces on us through the mediums of GMTV, Vernon Kay et al.

This is not Forrest Gump. Forrest Kunt maybe but not Forrest Gump.

If only everything from Essex was so great.

Thesaurus moment: homage.

Kunt And The Gang

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